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Never feel sorry for yourself !

Monir El-Shazly
Sep 8, 2024

"الشفقة على النفس هي أسوأ أنواع الفقر! إنها سبب كل مشاكل الحياة" - # عنايات_خان

لو بصينا حوالينا، حنلاقي أن الناس التعيسه، هي اللي شاغله نفسها بنفسها طول الوقت (صعبان عليها نفسها، أو بتقارن نفسها بالناس، أو مش راضيه عن حياتها )، اما الناس السعيده، حنلاقيها مش شاغله نفسها بنفسها طول الوقت ( و ده مش معناه أنهم يعاملوا نفسهم وحش)، إنما حتلاقيهم دائما مش صعبانه عليهم نفسهم، ولا مركزين علي "حظهم الوحش أو اهلهم عملوا فيهم ايه ، ولا علي "الناس اللي حاسداهم علي طول".

الايجو ego (الهويه المزيفه للنفس) دائما حيحاول يبين اننا نستاهل احسن من اللي بناخده، أو اننا مظلومين، و دي واحده من اقوي الحيل بتاعة الايجو...

بس الحقيقه ان مفيش سعاده، بييجي معاها شعور بأني ضحيه...

اعامل نفسي كويس اه ...إنما يصعب عليا نفسي...لأ!

#منير_الشاذلي

"Self-pity is the worst poverty! It is the cause of all life's grievances" - #Inayat_Khan

If you observe your surroundings, you will find that those who are happy are so because they have less thought of self (even if they treat themselves well in the process). And those who are unhappy, are the ones who think of themselves too much (mostly with pity or with dissatisfaction).

People are more lovable when they think less of themself. And a person is unbearable when he is always thinking of himself.

The heart becomes wide by forgetting the "self illusion", but narrow by thinking of the self and pitying one's own life!

When the false self is lost, the true self is discovered.

#Monir_El_Shazly

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The art of helping

Monir El-Shazly
Sep 5, 2024

The Art of Helping I

"I want to say something about the art of helping. Everybody can help, of course. The basic model of helping is that of parents and children. Parents do almost anything for their children and children can expect almost anything from their parents. For a while. Then the parents frustrate the children and the children get angry with the parents for a while and this is the way they grow. They grow by separation. The first model for this is birth. We grow by being separated from our mother, and therefore connection and separation depend on each other. That’s the basic pattern of happiness and unhappiness. Connection with, then separation.

And as we grow up we have many experiences of connection and separation all the time. There can be no connection without separation. Many clients come to a helper in order to resume former connection. Therefore they present themselves as a child in need of a mother or a father. Now, if the helper agrees to take up that position, what happens to the client? They cannot grow. And the helper cannot grow because by agreeing to such a therapeutic relationship he refuses to be separated.

To console someone – anyone can do that. The question is whether anyone is really helped by being consoled or by being treated as a child. So, the helper must be separated himself, from his parents and from his expectations of happiness connected with childhood experiences. He must be grown up and then he can face a client as an adult. Then he demands action. The question is not how to deal with a feeling, but what can be done. Then we have an adult relationship and both are working out what can be done, the client and the therapist. Here I demonstrate adult relationships in psychotherapy. And since much of psychotherapy is entangled in that image that a helper must behave and have sympathy like a mother or father, they cannot help in a real and powerful way."

Bert Hellinger